Snow in Benelux: A miracle or a practical joke?
Winter in the Benelux countries usually involves grey skies, rain, and the occasional optimistic forecast of “light snow flurries” that never materialise. So when actual snow arrives—enough to stick to the ground and form a snowball—people lose their minds. Schools consider closing. Trains slow down as if surprised by the white stuff. And everyone suddenly remembers they own a sledge, even if the nearest hill is a speed bump.
This year, the snow gods smiled upon the region, dumping just enough of the cold, fluffy chaos to inspire a rare Benelux tradition: the building of a snowman. Not just any snowman, though. This one has opinions.
Meet your new life coach: A snowman with attitude
Most snowmen are cheerful creatures. They’ve got a carrot nose, a couple of coal eyes, and a scarf that’s seen better days. They smile because they know their time is limited, and they’re just happy to be here. But not this one. Oh no. This snowman doesn’t just stand there looking jolly. It stands there looking judgemental.
Maybe it’s the way the coal eyes are slightly narrowed, as if it’s watching you shovel the driveway and wondering why you didn’t do it yesterday. Maybe it’s the twig mouth, permanently set in a line that says, “Really? That’s how you’re spending your day?” Or perhaps it’s the fact that it’s standing in your garden, silently witnessing your questionable life decisions, like eating that third stroopwafel or pretending you’ll start your diet “tomorrow.”
Why your snowman is judging you (and what to do about it)
Let’s be honest. We’ve all made choices we’re not proud of. Maybe you binge-watched an entire series instead of cleaning the house. Maybe you told your boss you were “sick” when you really just needed a day off. Or maybe you still haven’t replied to that message from your aunt. Your snowman knows. And it’s not impressed.
But here’s the thing: snowmen melt. Your judgemental frozen friend won’t be around forever. In a day or two, it’ll be a sad little puddle, and you’ll be free to go back to your questionable habits without its silent disapproval. Until then, you have two options. You can either ignore it and carry on with your life, or you can try to win it over.
How to impress a judgemental snowman
If you’re determined to earn the respect of your icy critic, here are a few suggestions. First, build it a friend. Snowmen are less judgemental when they’ve got company. Second, give it a fancy hat or a pipe. A well-dressed snowman is a happier snowman. Third, and most importantly, stop making decisions you wouldn’t want it to see.
If all else fails, you can always move it to your neighbour’s garden. Let it judge their life choices for a while.
