A village with character and questionable pavements
Monte is one of those places that looks lovely in photos. Red-tiled roofs, lush greenery, and winding streets that seem to whisper “come explore.” What they don’t mention is that some of those streets are so narrow you’ll need to walk sideways and pray no one’s coming the other way.
Pedestrians in Monte often find themselves squeezed between stone walls and passing cars that clearly think they’re in a video game. There are pavements, technically, but they’re more decorative than functional. If you’re hoping for a relaxed stroll, prepare instead for a cautious shuffle with occasional leaps into doorways.
The hills are alive… and steep
Monte is perched high above Funchal, which sounds romantic until you realise what that means for your legs. The streets climb like they’re trying to reach the clouds. Walking uphill here is not just exercise, it’s a spiritual experience. You’ll question your life choices, your footwear and possibly gravity itself.
Back in the day, before buses and cars, locals had to carry everything up these slopes. Groceries, furniture, livestock, you name it. There were no shortcuts, just determination and strong backs. It’s a miracle anyone ever moved house. And let’s not even talk about laundry day.
Transport before transport
Before modern vehicles, Monte’s residents relied on their own two feet and occasionally a donkey with attitude. Goods were hauled up the mountain using sheer willpower and a lot of sweat. There were no delivery vans, just neighbours helping each other and probably complaining a lot.
Even today, some parts of Monte are unreachable by car. You’ll see delivery people with trolleys, tourists panting like overheated dogs, and locals who clearly know the secret shortcuts. If you’re visiting, bring good shoes and low expectations for comfort.
A place worth the effort
Despite the narrow streets and vertical challenges, Monte is undeniably beautiful. The views are stunning, the gardens are lush, and the atmosphere is peaceful in a “don’t rush me, I’m catching my breath” kind of way.
It’s a place that rewards patience and punishes flip-flops. But if you survive the walk, you’ll find charming cafés, historic sites and a sense of achievement that only comes from climbing a small mountain disguised as a village.
